Month: April 2016

Pictures Teach It’s Not About Us

The old saying goes, “A picture’s worth a thousand words.” In today’s world, that translates into more words than I can count. With social media outlets like Instagram and Snapchat, we could probably write millions of novels per day with the number of pictures we take.

We love taking pictures. But more than taking them, we love looking at them. And more than looking at them, we love looking at ourselves within them.

Or at least I do.

I Love to Look at Myself

I never gave much thought to this obsession of mine until recently when Paige and I were thumbing through some pictures we’d taken on our trip to San Francisco. During our trip, we walked the distance of a marathon, as we attempted to visit every touristy landmark SF had to offer in just two short days, and we took a myriad of great pictures at every destination.

Aside from the dreary, gray backdrop that plagued not just our photos, but our weekend as well, the pictures turned out great.

There was the Golden Gate Bridge

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There was Lombard Street

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And there was the Full House home

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Each landmark was unique and captivating in its own right, but I noticed a funny thing happening each time Paige scrolled to the next picture. My eyes quickly scanned the picture and then zeroed in almost immediately upon myself. And there my eyes rested until she flipped to the next picture, where my eyes repeated the same pattern.

I’ve subconsciously noticed this about myself in the past, but never has it been more clear to me than now. I love looking back at photos capturing moments involving me. I’m less interested in the pictures that don’t contain me, though – scroll on, scroll on, keep going – but the second you flip to one containing me – STOP! that‘s the one; now just wait there for a second – my interest peaks and my eyes, like a missile, lock relentlessly upon myself, only to let go when the next picture arrives.

Now, it could be that I’m alone in this. In that case, I’ve just overshared a dirty secret about myself – or rather, my obsession with myself – and I take it all back. Forget what you read.

Or, perhaps you can relate, and now that you think about it, you do a similar thing when viewing pictures.

We Are Self-Obsessed

I suspect many more of you can relate than those who can’t. I suspect as much not because I think poorly of those reading my blog, but because I think realistically about human nature. Our self-infatuation isn’t limited to picture-viewing; obsession with self is a much deeper condition and sickness in our hearts, and picture-viewing only highlights it.

We love ourselves.

We are hopelessly and recklessly in love with the one standing across from us in the mirror. We may hate those who are self-seeking and self-obsessed, but in reality we are narcissists of the highest order. Every decision we make and every thought we think centers around self. It’s all about us and our happiness, our joy, our life.

It’s no wonder my eyes consistently fall straight upon myself in every photo I view. My life is a movie, and I’m the leading actor. It’s all about me.

Unfortunately, social media doesn’t help me here. It actually magnifies the problem by providing me with an outlet to further exercise and stretch these narcissistic muscles of mine. Hey Matt, say this and people will think you’re clever and witty. Hey Matt, post this photo to show everyone how awesome your life is. Really?

Please hear me; this is not an attack on social media. I don’t intend to shame you and make you feel guilty for utilizing it, because it certainly has its place in our society, and there is plenty of good that comes from social media. I’m simply pointing out that social media, coupled with our natural tendency toward love of self, is a deadly combination, and so we should be careful. We are so obsessed with ourselves that it’s sickening, and social media gives us the platform to cultivate and grow that obsession.

We Need a New Focus

When all of this occurred to me the other day, I almost laughed. Haha! I thought. You keep zeroing in on yourself in every photo you view. That’s funny!

Except it’s not. It’s not cute and it’s certainly not funny. It’s sad.

What I should really be saying to myself is, Look up! Take your eyes off yourself for 2 seconds and fixate on something that matters. Look at your beautiful wife standing next to you in that picture and actually tell her how thankful you are to have her. Look at the captivating scenery surrounding you and thank God for allowing you the opportunity to experience His creation.

When I focus on myself in each picture, I miss out on all the beauty and goodness the rest of the picture has to offer.

Likewise, when I focus on myself in life, I miss out on all the beauty and goodness life has to offer. I miss out on really living life and experiencing all the joy that comes from true life.

I honestly believe one of the most liberating things I can do is take my mind’s eye off myself and focus it on God and others. I mean that. I believe I would be truly free and my joy in life would increase ten-fold if I just looked up and away from myself.

Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew 16:24-25:

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Jesus effectively equates following Him with finding life. He tells us that if we want to discover true life for ourselves, then we must deny ourselves – we must die to self– and chase after Him. He knows that within Himself alone is found real joy and true life.

This is why it would be the most liberating, life-enhancing thing I could do to stop living my life centered around my own selfish wants and desires. I can’t really follow Jesus if I’m too busy looking at myself in a mirror. And if I can’t follow Jesus, I won’t find true life, for He’s the only one that has it.

“…whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Paradoxical and confusing, but Jesus’ words here are powerful and life-giving. Lose your life. Deny yourself. Take your eyes off self and all your self-centered desires and place them upon Me, He’s saying. And if you do, you will find that you don’t really lose your life at all, rather you find it. You discover true life. You obtain true joy.

Looking at Photos through a New Lens

I’m making a conscious effort now when I view photos. I want to take it all in and really enjoy all that each picture has to offer. Like this one below – see how beautiful the woman standing next to me is? And check out that scenery…so unique and captivating.

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Drink these things in, Matt. Keep your eyes off yourself and really soak up all the goodness the picture has to offer.

Can I ask you to join me in doing the same with our lives? Let’s make a conscious effort to take our eyes off ourselves and fixate them on Jesus. He’s leading the way to true life. Don’t worry – if you deny yourself, you won’t really lose the true meaning and essence of who you are. On the contrary, you will find the real you. You will find real life and real joy. It’s not hard – all we need is to look up.

We’re Not in Control

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I flew in an airplane for the first time when I was 22. I was scared to death. I remember calling my mom as I waited at the gate, a grown man on the verge of tears.

Fear wasn’t my only emotion, though. Excitement also coursed through my veins. When the plane finally lifted itself from the runway, I sat at the window, eyes transfixed on the distancing ground, marveling at the defiance of gravity. And as the landscape beneath shrank in size, recognizable structures blurring into vague blocks of line and color, so too did my fears.

Until the plane introduced me to a little thing called turbulence. The plane then shook and rattled my anxiety back into place, and I’ve struggled with flying ever since.

Six years have passed since that first flight, and over time my fear of flying has lessened, but it’ll never leave me completely. I value control far too much to ever wholly conquer my flying fears.

This all occurred to me this weekend as I flew to San Francisco for a work conference. After the takeoff jitters and palm sweats subsided, my muscles relaxed and I sank back into my seat and closed my eyes. Rest. Just relax and rest, I told myself.

Moments later, turbulence. Nothing major; the slightest of rumblings, really. But what did I find myself doing? Eyes wide, fists tightened, muscles clinched.

Moment of Clarity

The moment rewarded me an opportunity of existential observation, and I almost laughed at the scene before me. Let’s just say that worst case scenario was actually happening. What did I think I could do about it? If the plane was in fact going down, could I stop it by opening my eyes and bracing myself?

Of course not.

But there I was, on the edge of my seat prepared for the inevitable. It’s as if my mind and body subconsciously prepared to do something, anything, if needed.

News flash – the pilot doesn’t need your help, Matt. As it pertains to flying planes, especially handling turbulence, he is infinitely more qualified than you. He’s smarter, more trained, and he knows what he’s doing.

We’re Not in Control

I hate not being in control. In those moments of turbulence, my fear is heightened because I know there’s nothing I can do to help. In reality, it’s in my best interest that I can’t do anything. If provided the opportunity to actually take control, I would fly the plane straight into the ground.

Thank God I’m not in control.

Many of us approach life this way, too. Control your own destiny. What a thought.

What a sham, really.

We don’t control our destiny any more than I control mine 30,000 feet in the air. This rubs me wrong in life just as much, if not more, than it does on a plane. There are things in our lives that are out of our control, and there’s not a single thing we can do to change that.

Tragedy strikes from nowhere, unannounced and unimpeded, like pockets of turbulence. Life as we know it, smooth and peaceful, erupts into a shaky, fragile mess. Before we know it, we feel as though we’re in a free fall, and all we can do is stay seated, seat belts fastened, and rely on Someone else to steer us to safety.

We think we know how best to pilot our own lives, but we don’t. We haven’t cracked the first book on the subject. We kid ourselves if we think we’re wise enough to actually control our own destinies.

Thank God we’re not in control.

Easy to say, hard to believe. Especially in life’s turbulence. When bad things happen – when life doesn’t go according to plan – and all we know is the painful, terrifying sensation of free-fall, instinct tells us to open our eyes, clinch our muscles, and prepare to take control. Rush to the cockpit and grab the wheel from the Pilot if necessary.

Bad decision.

God is infinitely more qualified than we are to steer our lives. He is the definition, the very embodiment, of wisdom, and He knows exactly what He’s doing – despite the way free-fall makes us feel.

This weekend’s moment of clarity reminded me of this truth, and for the briefest of moments I was able to actually relax a bit, even amidst the turbulence. I told myself the truth – Matt, the pilot knows what he’s doing. He’s trained for this. Relax. Even if the pilot lost control, the plane was ultimately in the hands of a greater Pilot.

Again, really buying into this truth – really believing it at the core of our being – is much easier said than done. But, God offers us unparalleled freedom and peace if we take hold of Him and let go of our pseudo control. Let’s stop playing pretend and acting like we can orchestrate a best life for ourselves. God is in control, He loves us, and He alone will steer our lives to Safety.

Be Better

Just be better. This statement has been ringing in my head all morning. Just be better, Matt. Just be better.

This thought usually plagues me when I’ve fallen into some recurring sin in my life. I hate sin. I especially hate sin I can’t seem to defeat. Progress, progress, slip. Progress, slip. This seems to be the pattern, and every time I fall, I become so angry and promise myself next time will be different. Be better, I tell myself. Just be better.

As this thought echoed in my head this morning though, I had to pause and ask if that’s really the message I should tell myself. I mean, let’s be honest – there are only so many times you can attempt something and fail before you realize your strategy is flawed.

Be better? No, that’s not the answer to my recurring sin problem. I’ve told myself to be better so many times I’ve lost count. It’s not working.

Be a better husband, Matt. Candy, flowers, fail. Be a better worker, Matt. Stay late, work hard, fail. Be a better son, Matt. Call mom, remember birthday, fail. And the kicker – be a better Christian, Matt. Love Jesus, love Jesus, fail.

I hate this.

Jesus is better. He is so much better than the sin I keep choosing, and I know it. I know it.

But here I am, sitting in my failure to love Jesus more, and I can’t seem to get up.

What Do We Treasure?

I just know I’m not alone in this. Christian and non-Christian alike – there’s always that one thing. It’s the thing that draws us in and takes hold of us. It promises pleasure and joy. It promises temporary satisfaction for our pain and emptiness. But you know it, and I know it – it never delivers. Never. And yet we run back to it still, time and time again, all the while telling ourselves, just be better.

Be better? No, not this time. This morning I’m telling myself a new message. Well, the message itself isn’t new. It’s a message that God’s been telling us from the very beginning; a message Jesus captured with the parable of the hidden treasure in Matthew 13:44. Not only is it short and to the point (it’s only one verse with two sentences), but it’s a great summary of the Christian life and it’s the exact thing I need to remember on mornings like this.

In it Jesus tells us, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

I’ve been walking in the field of life for 28 years. One ordinary night some 13 years ago I stumbled upon a chest, which caused me to stop dead in my tracks. It was filled to the brim with valuable goods; a treasure so rich its value was uncountable. Heart racing, I ran home to gather my possessions, intent full on selling all I had to purchase that field. I wanted that treasure, and I would do whatever it took to lay hold of it.

But somewhere along the way I must’ve forgotten just how valuable that treasure was. I’ve sold off most of my things. Porn and lying just to name two. Those were easy to sell, as I remember the treasure being more valuable than they. But my obsession with human approval? My lust for more money and power? Those I’ve held onto.

For whatever reason, my heart just doesn’t want to let them go. I know intellectually that the chest I stumbled upon years ago is infinitely more valuable than they. For in that chest is everlasting life with Jesus. I know Jesus is better. But functionally, I don’t believe it. My actions say otherwise, and so time and time again, I run back to my possessions.

I’m holding tight to rags when God has offered me riches.

I Can’t Be Better

You see, I can’t just be better. I can’t just gather these remaining possessions – these rags of money, power, and approval – and sell them away to lay hold of the Treasure. It’s not something you just work up the manpower to do, and we learn this in the parable. The man who actually sold everything so that he could buy the field and take hold of the treasure did so because his heart truly valued the treasure above whatever possessions he had. There was no question in his heart or mind, as the treasure was infinitely better and so he joyfully sold all.

We’ve got to learn that if we truly want to defeat recurring sin in our lives, then it’s not a matter of simply telling ourselves to be better. At the end of the day, our desires will always win out. We will run after the things we desire most. I want the Treasure. I want Jesus. But when I fall into my recurring sins, I’m effectively saying that I want those things more. I’m not quite ready to part with them for the sake of obtaining the Treasure, because I’m not seeing the Treasure as better.

If we want to be like the man in the parable and forsake our possessions – our love for the world and self – to take hold of everlasting life with Jesus, then we truly need to see Jesus as better. We need to value him above those things. We can say we do all day long, but our actions say otherwise. My actions say otherwise.

Be better? No…Jesus is better.

Jesus is better. May I write it until I believe it. Jesus is better.