Just be better. This statement has been ringing in my head all morning. Just be better, Matt. Just be better.
This thought usually plagues me when I’ve fallen into some recurring sin in my life. I hate sin. I especially hate sin I can’t seem to defeat. Progress, progress, slip. Progress, slip. This seems to be the pattern, and every time I fall, I become so angry and promise myself next time will be different. Be better, I tell myself. Just be better.
As this thought echoed in my head this morning though, I had to pause and ask if that’s really the message I should tell myself. I mean, let’s be honest – there are only so many times you can attempt something and fail before you realize your strategy is flawed.
Be better? No, that’s not the answer to my recurring sin problem. I’ve told myself to be better so many times I’ve lost count. It’s not working.
Be a better husband, Matt. Candy, flowers, fail. Be a better worker, Matt. Stay late, work hard, fail. Be a better son, Matt. Call mom, remember birthday, fail. And the kicker – be a better Christian, Matt. Love Jesus, love Jesus, fail.
I hate this.
Jesus is better. He is so much better than the sin I keep choosing, and I know it. I know it.
But here I am, sitting in my failure to love Jesus more, and I can’t seem to get up.
What Do We Treasure?
I just know I’m not alone in this. Christian and non-Christian alike – there’s always that one thing. It’s the thing that draws us in and takes hold of us. It promises pleasure and joy. It promises temporary satisfaction for our pain and emptiness. But you know it, and I know it – it never delivers. Never. And yet we run back to it still, time and time again, all the while telling ourselves, just be better.
Be better? No, not this time. This morning I’m telling myself a new message. Well, the message itself isn’t new. It’s a message that God’s been telling us from the very beginning; a message Jesus captured with the parable of the hidden treasure in Matthew 13:44. Not only is it short and to the point (it’s only one verse with two sentences), but it’s a great summary of the Christian life and it’s the exact thing I need to remember on mornings like this.
In it Jesus tells us, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”
I’ve been walking in the field of life for 28 years. One ordinary night some 13 years ago I stumbled upon a chest, which caused me to stop dead in my tracks. It was filled to the brim with valuable goods; a treasure so rich its value was uncountable. Heart racing, I ran home to gather my possessions, intent full on selling all I had to purchase that field. I wanted that treasure, and I would do whatever it took to lay hold of it.
But somewhere along the way I must’ve forgotten just how valuable that treasure was. I’ve sold off most of my things. Porn and lying just to name two. Those were easy to sell, as I remember the treasure being more valuable than they. But my obsession with human approval? My lust for more money and power? Those I’ve held onto.
For whatever reason, my heart just doesn’t want to let them go. I know intellectually that the chest I stumbled upon years ago is infinitely more valuable than they. For in that chest is everlasting life with Jesus. I know Jesus is better. But functionally, I don’t believe it. My actions say otherwise, and so time and time again, I run back to my possessions.
I’m holding tight to rags when God has offered me riches.
I Can’t Be Better
You see, I can’t just be better. I can’t just gather these remaining possessions – these rags of money, power, and approval – and sell them away to lay hold of the Treasure. It’s not something you just work up the manpower to do, and we learn this in the parable. The man who actually sold everything so that he could buy the field and take hold of the treasure did so because his heart truly valued the treasure above whatever possessions he had. There was no question in his heart or mind, as the treasure was infinitely better and so he joyfully sold all.
We’ve got to learn that if we truly want to defeat recurring sin in our lives, then it’s not a matter of simply telling ourselves to be better. At the end of the day, our desires will always win out. We will run after the things we desire most. I want the Treasure. I want Jesus. But when I fall into my recurring sins, I’m effectively saying that I want those things more. I’m not quite ready to part with them for the sake of obtaining the Treasure, because I’m not seeing the Treasure as better.
If we want to be like the man in the parable and forsake our possessions – our love for the world and self – to take hold of everlasting life with Jesus, then we truly need to see Jesus as better. We need to value him above those things. We can say we do all day long, but our actions say otherwise. My actions say otherwise.
Be better? No…Jesus is better.
Jesus is better. May I write it until I believe it. Jesus is better.
Muse in the Morning 